Over a month ago, I announced a Limerick Contest for a FREE admission to the 12th Annual National Snapping Event in Las Vegas. The object of the contest was to create a funny, creative limerick that had to do with Long Snapping.
The response to this contest was amazing and even surprised me. I actually received almost 200 entries! Well done gentleman!
Alright, enough waiting, the winner, and this was very tough to choose, is…..
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For Long Snappers
If you are a….
1. …Long Snapper that doesn’t immediately crank on the AC full blast in a car and/or hotel room, I don’t like you.
2. …Long Snapper that doesn’t try to snap any object that has ever been in your hand, I don’t like you.
3. …Long Snapper that doesn’t know how to do at least one trick with a football, I don’t like you.
3. …Long Snapper that doesn’t sweat when you eat, I don’t like you.
4. …Long Snapper that doesn’t pull on the front of their shirt at least 138 times per day, I don’t like you.
5. …Long Snapper that hasn’t used your position to pick up on a lady, I don’t like you.
6. …Long Snapper that hasn’t snapped something at a party, I don’t like you.
7. …Long Snapper that doesn’t know the names Casey Hales, Tyler Schmitt, Christian Yount, Jeff Palmer, Jason Bertoni, John Finch and Kevin Ballinger, I don’t like you.
8. …Long Snapper that has never hurt someone with a great snap, I don’t like you.
9. …Long Snapper that has ever turned down a dessert, I don’t like you.
10. …Long Snapper that doesn’t capitalize the words Long Snapper and/or Long Snapping, I don’t like you.
For kickers
If you are a….
1. …kicker that doesn’t walk, slowly, off the field with your Long Snapper, I don’t like you.
2. …kicker that doesn’t praise your Long Snapper in every interview, I don’t like you.
3. …kicker that doesn’t praise your Long Snapper when he gives you good snaps, I don’t like you.
4. …kicker that has accidentally hit your Long Snapper in the back of the head, I don’t like you.
5. …kicker that has ever motioned for and/or expected your Long Snapper to go get the balls you have kicked, I don’t like you.
6. ..kicker that doesn’t get your Long Snapper a gift for all major holidays, especially their birthday, and maybe even yours, I don’t like you.
7. …kicker that refers to your Long Snapper as simply snapper and not their proper name or glorious nickname, I don’t like you.
8. …kicker that squats too low or jumps when you don’t need to in order to catch a great snap, I don’t like you.
9. …kicker that blames a miss on your Long Snapper when he actually had a good snap, I don’t like you.
10. …kicker that doesn’t realize it all starts with the snap, I don’t like you.
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Rubio Long Snappers and staff members John Finch and Kevin Ballinger (formerly of Purdue and bottom two in picture) and their Dodgeball team, the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, have won their adult league dodgeball championship on the GUS League in Houston!
This is a story worth telling since Long Snappers are not known for being the fleetest of foot so this is quite an accomplishment. Also, if you have ever experienced these two at a camp, you can only imagine the spray these two probably generated towards their competitors throughout each match. On that note, word around town is they were verbally abused, a couple times, by a lady, but this can’t be confirmed nor denied.
For some reason, I could not find any highlights on Espn (yes, I even checked The Ocho) but you have to trust me that they won.
Bottom line, I embrace these two continuing their winning ways, trying to stay fit and representing well.
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