So, I received this email from a Rubio Long Snapping parent and I had to share due to the content (yes, I got their approval). Trust me, after 2o years I had thought I had heard it all but this one takes the cake.
Let me present to you, The Story of The Rubio Long Snapping Target vs. a Rabbit.
“I just wanted to share my afternoon with you, let’s call this an afternoon of chaos brought to you by the Chris Rubio Long Snapping Target…
I have three sons—19, 16, and 13—and while you know Liam for his longsnapping skills, you may not know my oldest is also a long snapper, currently at Lehigh.
We’ve lived and breathed snapping for years now, which means our backyard looks like a training facility mashed up with a garage sale.
Eventually, I caved and bought the Rubio target. I mean, at that point, what’s one more long snapping net/QB target/bounceback thing in the yard? Just more lawn decor, right?
My oldest son came home last night for a couple of weeks before summer workouts start up. When my youngest came home from school today they went outside to play together. Naturally, Connor wants to try the Rubio target because this is something Liam has that he didn’t…
I’m in my office, minding my own business, when my youngest (12, and currently transitioning out of his tween years and into full-blown dramatic teen chaos) bursts through the door like he’s announcing a hostage situation:
“MOM! There’s a rabbit stuck with Chris Rubio!”
I’m like what?!? He’s breathing heavily, I realize he’s talking about the target and I’m like oh for god sake will you calm down.
I head outside and yep—there it is. The target’s lying flat, and a rabbit has somehow Houdini’d itself into the bottom net and is now panicking like it just realized it made some poor life choices.
Being the calm, suburban-not-outdoorsy mom that I am, I grab a hockey stick (as one does) to lift the target and give myself a little distance. The rabbit, in response, tightens the net around itself like it’s preparing for a magic trick gone horribly wrong.
I start talking gently to the rabbit, trying to reassure it like I’ve seen on Animal Planet. This is when my helpful 19-year-old, Connor, strolls out and says: “No hable inglés.”
Thank you, Connor. Invaluable.
Then he starts yelling at the rabbit: “Go LEFT, you dumbass! Freedom’s to the LEFT!” The rabbit responds by doubling down and tangling itself even further.
I lift the target higher. At this point, Connor goes: “Way to go, Mom. You’ve created a rabbit noose.” Super encouraging.
Meanwhile, Griffin—ever the fountain of disturbing trivia—chimes in with: “You know a rabbit can live for seven minutes after it dies?”
WTF, Griffin. Seriously. Is this helpful right now?
I’m now whisper-screaming curses at my husband under my breath, because OF COURSE this is happening while he’s not home. Every weird animal crisis? My shift.
It’s clear we need to cut the net. I send Connor inside for scissors and gloves. Keep in mind—we are not “glove for wildlife rescue” people. We are “glove for scrubbing dishes or pulling weeds” people. The best we’ve got is a pair of garden gloves and some mismatched dish gloves.
Connor returns from the garage like he’s suiting up for war—with lacrosse gloves and a goalie stick.
I just stare at him. “What is the plan here? Are you going to save it or bludgeon it??”
I start cutting the net while Connor stands by in full lacrosse goalie gear, presumably ready to catch the rabbit mid-flight or defend himself if it turns on us. I finally get through enough of the net and—BOOM—the rabbit leaps out.
But not before unleashing a noise none of us were prepared for.
The boys jump back.
“WHAT in the actual hell was THAT?!”
Yes. Rabbits can scream. And now my children are emotionally damaged forever.
The rabbit bolts into the bushes—alive, but still dragging some of the net like it’s been through a war zone.
So, thanks to the Chris Rubio target, I’m now an accidental bunny trapper and quite possibly a bunny killer (there’s no way it’s surviving with the noose). What an afternoon.”
Rubio Long Snapping is, by far, the biggest and best resource for Long Snappers in the country. Rubio has been featured in the Washington Post, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the USA Today, Deadspin, Sports Illustrated and countless other publications.
Offering the best instruction and most exposure in the world, Rubio Long Snapping can help you to become the best snapper you can be!
In just 20 years, Chris Rubio, President and Owner of Rubio Long Snapping, has become the #1 Long Snapping instructor in the country and the go-to man when a college coach needs a Long Snapper. Colleges from across the country rely on “Rubio’s” word day in and day out on who the best Long Snappers are in the country. Rubio Long Snapping has assisted in over 1,850 Long Snappers earning full scholarships and preferred walk-on opportunities to major colleges and universities just for Long Snapping and many into the NFL as well.
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