The People I See On My Travels – 2

Well, I have been to a couple of airports since my last entry and oh do I have some winners for you (I’m only going to tell you about one right now). Let me introduce you to Mr-I-Have-No-Idea-That-I-Am-Wearing-A-Backpack guy. Please take a second and look at the following picture I have added for all the visual learners out there:

This guy is the person you see in the airport wearing a monster backpack. Seems innocent enough and you almost feel bad for him. Don’t ever feel sorry for this person. They are the enemy. They can take a person and/or magazine rack out with one turn of their body. Their backpack is usually filled with at least one laptop, and from the damage they create, one would assume at least a cinderblock or two.

This particular man was on a flight with me and sitting across the aisle. I noticed him right off the bat as he is a rare “double bagger.” Basically, he carries a monster backpack the normal way and then carries another bag with his paws. The extra bag just adds to his dangerousness because he will pay more attention to the bag in hand instead of the weapon he carries on his back (which does enough damage on it’s own, let alone when he is double unfocused).

He took out at least two small children simply walking down aisle of the plane. I was smart enough to see him coming and fully embraced the person next to me to avoid his wake. He sat down and tried to stuff his backpack/weapon under the chair in front of him. Given, it didn’t fit so he had a personal ottoman all flight. He almost cramped up he was in such a fetal position for so long. I was really hoping the cramps set it in so he would wait to get off the flight. They didn’t.

When we landed, I tried again to snuggle with the person next to me to make some room for Godzilla’s tail but I couldn’t get out of the way quick enough and was nailed several times. I am not sure if the guy was warming up for a hula-hoop contest or what, but he was spinning like a wild man and connecting with me on each turn. After four of five blows to my grill, I decided to just embrace hoping he would knock me out cold to end the misery. I was literally ducking and diving like a boxer.

Bottom line: you see a person on your travels with monster backpack, get away. You see a person with monster backpack and bag in hand, run for the hills.

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