You're a Long Snapper? That's not even a position!

You’re a Long Snapper? That’s Not Even a Position!!!

If you are a Long Snapper or connected to one somehow (side note: if you aren’t, I double embrace you for reading this blog) you have undoubtedly heard a statement like the title or even worse before in your glorious upside down and backwards life. Imagine my world when I try to explain my job to someone….you know how many times I have heard, “Oh, I thought the center just did that”

The issue arises in how to deal with these people. The above person is just ignorant and just doesn’t grab the whole football concept. They should be simply dealt with by providing a quick explanation so they are enlightened and can now live a full life.

Those that are just plain mean and degrading should be dealt with differently. I like to handle them in two ways that I have found work well for me.

  1. IGNORE THEM. Give a slight little you-are-a-moron-and-you-know-it smirk and a possible nod so they realize how lame they really are at this point in their life.  This usually upsets them since they are not getting a rise out of you.  If they continue and aren’t grasping the fact that they need help, I will let out a big, fake, over the top chuckle. Sometimes, I even throw in a good “woooo” while losing my breath and a knee slap to really lay it on thick.This person is very similar to the old elementary school scenario where the little boy likes the little girl so he hits her. He doesn’t know better and is simply looking for a response. No response equals him spreading out and moving onto the next person he likes/wants to harass. If the person continues to bother you, it is time to move onto the second option.
  2. PLAY CATCH. I used to do this a good amount in college when the guys would give me a rough time (for some reason they were a little salty that my practice was only five minutes. Hey, not my fault Sailer and I could master our skill so darn quickly). Tell the joker to catch a snap if it is such a lame position. Play it up a bit, “Come on, if anyone can snap, than surely anyone should be able to catch a snap.” Now, put them at 8-10 yards. They will say it is too close. You say you aren’t warm. Focus on every single thing I have ever taught you and LET IT RAIN! If done properly, you should knock the wind out of them:) This is where they will try to do it and look like a idiot. Game over.

My grandpa (the stories I could tell you about this man would be amazing and have to be on cable) gave me some good advice for situations like this. Little background on him for reference:

  • Passed away almost 20 years ago.
  • Lived across the street from a golf course. Still drove there so people could see his monstrous Cadillac.
  • Cadillac, sans seat-belts in back, would have so much Armor All on seats that sitting in the back would be like being in a pinball machine since you would slide back and forth to crash into sides. Don’t worry, at least he would yell at you to stay still while you careened back and forth.
  • His method of parking was idling until he hit whatever was in front of him “That’s what bumpers are for you _______”
  • He taught me how to twirl spaghetti only three times on my fork….Me, “Why only three times grandpa?” Grandpa, “any more than that and you are an _______.” Appreciate the detailed explanation.

He said, “Christopher, when you find out that someone doesn’t like you it is one of the greatest days of your life.” Given, I asked why and he responded with “because as soon as you know someone doesn’t like you, you no longer have to be nice to that ________ and can move onto better people that are worth your time.” What great spray and advice that I have used countless times in my life.

Be proud of being a Long Snapper. Very few people in the world can actually do it and do it right. If anyone attempts to mock you with a comment such as…You are not athletic, It is not a real position, It doesn’t take talent, Anyone can do it, You’re technically not on the team, You are not a real football player, You don’t even matter…. realize they are just jealous and ignore them. Of course, if that doesn’t work, grab a ball and simply play a nice, little game of catch:)

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  1. Jeffrey Abraham says

    I like the idea of the game of catch. I would even suggest that you let the ignorant moron go first much like the elementary school game of who can hit softer. When they hit you in the arm softly you then let it rain and bring down the thunder and walk away telling them they won as their arm goes limp.

    In the Long Snappers case I would let them go first and complement them on how great they did with the snap and their natural ability and then its your turn. Again let it rain and bring down the thunder only this time I think the Long Snapper is declared the winner.

    You will notice that Long Snapper is capitalized here because well that is how it should be.

  2. Very well said Jeff. Definitely well done.

  3. Caroline Brown says

    Love the sense of humor while making an excellent point! Great advice!

  4. Thank you very much Caroline

  5. Great advice, and as a snapper for years. I would go through the same types of scenarinos, and what I found that usually ended the conversation was my huge lineman buddy that knew how difficult it was to snap would give me the good old wink and would volunteer “a little rush on the uneducated person while they snapped. Of course there were no broken necks, or blown out knees, just me standing over them laid out, asking if they would like to try out for the position, “it’s easy”!!! Lmao the whole time.

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How to prove to someone a Long Snapper is a real position