For Long Snappers
If you are a….
1. …Long Snapper that doesn’t immediately crank on the AC full blast in a car and/or hotel room, I don’t like you.
2. …Long Snapper that doesn’t try to snap any object that has ever been in your hand, I don’t like you.
3. …Long Snapper that doesn’t know how to do at least one trick with a football, I don’t like you.
3. …Long Snapper that doesn’t sweat when you eat, I don’t like you.
4. …Long Snapper that doesn’t pull on the front of their shirt at least 138 times per day, I don’t like you.
5. …Long Snapper that hasn’t used your position to pick up on a lady, I don’t like you.
6. …Long Snapper that hasn’t snapped something at a party, I don’t like you.
7. …Long Snapper that doesn’t know the names Casey Hales, Tyler Schmitt, Christian Yount, Jeff Palmer, Jason Bertoni, John Finch and Kevin Ballinger, I don’t like you.
8. …Long Snapper that has never hurt someone with a great snap, I don’t like you.
9. …Long Snapper that has ever turned down a dessert, I don’t like you.
10. …Long Snapper that doesn’t capitalize the words Long Snapper and/or Long Snapping, I don’t like you.
For kickers
If you are a….
1. …kicker that doesn’t walk, slowly, off the field with your Long Snapper, I don’t like you.
2. …kicker that doesn’t praise your Long Snapper in every interview, I don’t like you.
3. …kicker that doesn’t praise your Long Snapper when he gives you good snaps, I don’t like you.
4. …kicker that has accidentally hit your Long Snapper in the back of the head, I don’t like you.
5. …kicker that has ever motioned for and/or expected your Long Snapper to go get the balls you have kicked, I don’t like you.
6. ..kicker that doesn’t get your Long Snapper a gift for all major holidays, especially their birthday, and maybe even yours, I don’t like you.
7. …kicker that refers to your Long Snapper as simply snapper and not their proper name or glorious nickname, I don’t like you.
8. …kicker that squats too low or jumps when you don’t need to in order to catch a great snap, I don’t like you.
9. …kicker that blames a miss on your Long Snapper when he actually had a good snap, I don’t like you.
10. …kicker that doesn’t realize it all starts with the snap, I don’t like you.
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